Jasper's Struggle
by Lisa Newson
Summary: This story picks up after Eclipse, and focuses on Jasper and Alice. Jasper slips up and the story focuses on the choices and consequences of those choices after he makes the mistake. And just to give you a hint - he doesn't go home after slipping up.
1. Chapter 1

Jasper's Point Of View

I just kept running, I couldn't stop myself. The second I even considered stopping I knew the guilt would rush over me. She already knew what I had done, she had even seen it coming. She didn't tell me, I know why she chose not to. But maybe, if she had said something, I wouldn't have… STOP. I couldn't even walk down that path. There had to be a distraction somewhere. There had to be a place where I could go and not be haunted by this all consuming guilt. Like a flash of lightning, the answer appeared in the forefront of my mind. I had to beat her there though.

Alice's Point of View

"NO!" Though my heart no longer beat, I clutched my hand there as if it could stop the instant pain I felt. I already knew what he was going to do, but I had desperately hoped that he would make a different decision. It wasn't my place to interfere, I had put my faith in him. But even if he had chosen the path I saw him take, I would have never believed he would even consider this as the solution. I knew Edward was in the room, Bella right behind. Edward's eyes were wide, Bella looked slightly lost.

"You have to go, you have to go now. You have to stop him. Carlisle should go with you." There was an edge of panic in Edwards voice, but I couldn't find my voice to speak. Edward left the room to get Carlisle started on everything, I already saw it. We would be leaving on a plane in 2 hours, but would he listen, would he stop?

"Alice, what's happened?" Bella's eyes were filled with fear. How could I tell her what had happened? I just couldn't. I couldn't speak the words outloud. As ridiculous as it sounded, even to me, somehow speaking the words would just make this nightmare a reality. Edward was already back in the room throwing a couple of things into a duffle bag for me. I felt Esme at my side, her hand rubbing up and down my back as she held me. Rosalie and Emmett stood in the doorway near Bella all looking slightly confused, Carlisle was making sure everything was order so we could beat him there.

Edward began talking, and even though I didn't want to hear it, I listened. "Jasper slipped up. It was a man in Seattle, Jasper had taken several precautions to make sure that there was no one attached to the man - that he wouldn't be missed. Alice and I thought that he might need some time, but that he would eventually come back. However, he's decided to go back to Texas. He's just decided, but if Alice and Carlisle don't make it there in time to stop him…" He didn't finish his sentence. Every part of me wondered how he could just leave like this. No goodbye, nothing. Not even a phone call. Would he even want me if I went all that way to stop him? Could I handle it if he rejected me? I knew we would make it there before he would, but I didn't feel sure about anything anymore.

"Alice, we need to go." I felt Carlisle take my hand and I just nodded. We headed out to his BMW, and before I left I just looked at everyone. I saw the concern on everyone's faces and I just hoped that when we came back, he would be with me.

"He'll listen" Edward said, though his eyes betrayed his words by showing a hint of doubt.


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper's point of view

Alice already knew what I was doing, I was sure she was already hatching a plan to stop me. I needed to build up my defenses just in case she did beat me there. I couldn't allow her to talk me into coming home. She was just too good, they were all just too good for me. What would they think of me? Bella was still human, she would be disgusted with me. I couldn't look in their eyes anymore. My eyes would give it all away. Waiting to board the plane was more than I could handle. I already started to feel the hole inside me, the hole that only Alice could fill. I needed a distraction, something, to keep me from falling apart inside the airport. Clearing all my thoughts, I decided to wait out my time near baggage claim. Immediately I could feel it. Airports had so many emotions that were so easily picked up and baggage claim was where I knew I would get the most reunions. I felt the joy and happiness of loved ones reuniting. I tried to picture myself with Alice, feeling the relief of knowing she was ok, the happiness of seeing her again. I knew it was wrong to try and use the feelings of others to replace my own, but I just didn't care. I could let myself momentarily go in this fake happiness that would only temporarily solve my problems. I heard boarding for my flight and knew I had to go. With one last moment I took in the emotion of an older couple reuniting, letting it wash over me before I had to get on the plane.

I walked up to the terminal, knowing that I needed to start preparing myself for seeing Alice. I was now sure that she would be waiting for me when I arrived in Texas, I needed a way to make sure she understood why I couldn't go back. I wasn't strong enough, this proved it. I just couldn't live their lifestyle. I had been happy, but with everything I had done I didn't deserve happiness. All the people I killed, the vampires I destroyed in their infancy. Alice needed to understand, I wasn't worthy of happiness. I had done nothing to warrant Alice's affection, her love, and there was no reason to think she would want me now. I could only hope that's how she felt, though I knew better.

APOV

The plane jolted as it landed, Jasper's plane would be landing in 32 minutes. I still had no idea what to say to him. Carlisle had sat silently through the entire plane ride to Houston, yet when he spoke it was soothing. "Alice, maybe I should talk to him first. I've been thinking, he needs to know that we all want him back. He's expecting you, I don't think he's expecting me." Relief flooded me. I simply nodded and we formulated a plan as we waited to get off the plane. Carlisle would remain calm so that Jasper couldn't feel him coming. He would explain to Jasper that things would be fine, to just come home. No one would be upset with him, he'd remind him of Edward's acceptance after he voluntarily left. They understood, all missed him, and would accept him back in a heart beat. Once Carlisle was done, I would come in and see if he would come home with us. Carlisle assured me "There's no reason for him not to come home Alice". I nodded and only hoped he was right.

We sat on the tarmac for awhile, I checked my watch. Jasper's plane would be landing in only 16 minutes, why weren't we getting off the plane? I glanced at Carlisle, he just gave me a fatherly glance letting me know it would all be fine. Nothing to worry about. I couldn't help but feel the anxiety creep up my arms, we needed to get off this plane now! Suddenly the captain came over the speakers "I'm sorry for the delay. It seems that we've run into a problem with our terminal. We should be able to get to another terminal shortly." My head shot up and I stared at Carlisle. He was already standing up and walking to one of the attendants. I watched him speak to her, and as he came back I couldn't even bear to look at him terrified of what he was going to tell me.

"I know, it's at least 30 minutes before we'll get into a terminal, don't need to tell me". Carlisle just took my hand in an effort to let me know he was sorry.

"Alice, there's a chance that Jaspers -"

"No, they will get into a terminal without a problem. He'll be gone by the time we get into the terminal." I looked into Carlisle's eyes. "I have to go after him. I don't expect you to come with me. In fact, you need to go home. I have to do this alone, you're needed elsewhere." He just looked down and I knew he would go home.

JPOV

My connection left early from Denver, there was a chance I wouldn't have to see her before I disappeared. As the plane landed in Houston I felt tense and could only hope I would find Maria and never have to see Alice again. This was what was right, and I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I just needed to keep telling myself that this was what was right. Getting off the plane I rushed as quickly as I could to find a cab and leave the airport. I didn't feel Alice once, she wasn't there. I stopped momentarily to look at the incoming flights board. It was obvious what flight she was on, it was late. She would've beaten me here if she had been on time. Somehow I needed to let her know the trail ended here. She shouldn't come after me. But how? It dawned on me. She's on a plane, and surely she has her cell phone. It would be turned off - I could call. I already threw my phone into the trash in Seattle, so I dug 50 cents out of my pocket and stopped at a payphone.

"Alice, leave me alone. Don't come after me - it's a waste of time". I muttered the words quickly and hoped that they sounded cold and the pain it felt to speak them didn't come through. Slamming the phone down, I hopped into cab. It was a rainy day in Houston, thankfully. I couldn't stay without having to see her, I had to leave now.

Now to only figure out where Maria had gone. I hadn't even thought of her for years, I needed to think of where to start in my search. I asked the cab driver to take me to a hotel, I didn't care which one. As he drove my thoughts raced. Suddenly I remembered, the mansion 30 miles south of Corpus Christi. It was in the middle of nowhere, but Maria had always had someone there in all the years he had been with her. I could get close, see what I could find. "Sir, I've changed my mind, can you take me to the nearest car dealership that sells the fastest car you can think of". The taxi cab driver made a noise and nodded.

I hoped this would work, and as the cab pulled up, I groaned inwardly. It was a Porsche dealership, of course it had to be. I threw a handful of bills at the taxi driver and jumped out. There was a Cayman Coupe sitting on the lot. I walked up to a salesman, told him I would pay cash for the car, and an hour later I was driving south towards the mansion.

APOV

As I got off the plane and turned on my cell phone, there was a message. It had to be him. I listened to the message, and didn't believe a word he said. I turned to Carlisle, gave him a brief embrace, then turned. He was on his way to somewhere outside Corpus Christi. The large white mansion was still in my head, as well as the Porsche dealership he visited. I had already warned Carlisle, I was buying another 911 turbo here. It was faster than the Cayman and there was a chance that maybe I could possibly catch up to him by the time he reached the home. I got into a cab and offered the driver a 100 tip if he got me to the Porsche dealership in less than 20 minutes. Of course, I was there in 20 minutes flat, and was driving a red 911 Porsche off the lot within 45 minutes of arriving. Driving fast was second nature, I only hoped I could drive fast enough.


	3. Chapter 3

JPOV

I was only 40 miles from the mansion, my stomach was in knots. I knew I couldn't just waltz in there and expect a warm welcome, I'm sure Maria would be furious with me at the very least. I would have to tread carefully and hope that no one sensed me before I got there. Hopefully I could feel out the situation a little before I arrived. The miles passed senselessly, I was attempting to clear my thoughts so that I'd be more open to feel from a distance. Within 2 miles of the mansion I felt it. It was crippling, the pain was so thorough that I had to stop, every inch of my body felt like it was being torn apart from the inside. I looked around - and there sat a red 911 turbo right behind me. Slamming my car into gear I began to drive as fast as I could toward the mansion. I COULD NOT see Alice. I couldn't have her around me; I couldn't let her stop me. She drove next to me the remaining 2 miles to the mansion. The weather was clear, but there wasn't a house or human around for at least 20 miles. Outside stood 4 sparkling vampires, and though I could barely pick up their emotion, I knew it wasn't going to be good. They weren't happy to see strangers. I slammed my foot on the brake stopping within a few feet of the vampires and jumped out of the car.

APOV

I had caught him, and he could feel it. But what now? He had only stopped an instant before taking off towards the mansion, and I could already tell this wasn't going to turn out well. I quickly grabbed my phone, I had already called Carlisle once before to let him know of the location of the mansion. Now I was calling to let him know that we needed help, and we needed it now. The 4 vampires standing in front of this mansion had every intention of ripping us into a million pieces the second we stepped out of our vehicles. One was Maria, I only hoped that once she saw Jasper she would stop and give us a second, hopefully even let us leave in peace. It wasn't likely, but I could only hope that somehow this didn't end with us dead. Jasper stopped quickly and jumped out of his car. I stopped right next to him and knowing that he was going to slam himself against my door, I slid across to the passenger door and jumped out.

"Damn it Alice! LEAVE ME ALONE, leave now, get out of here!" He was angry, but he wasn't picking it up. Maria recognized him, we would be ok for a minute, she had questions for him. The 4 vampires that stood before us were the only ones here, thankfully. It would be at least 4-5 (depending on who was driving) hours before anyone else would get here; I just hoped that we piqued Maria's curiosity enough to drag this out for awhile.

"Well, it's been awhile love. I have to say I am surprised to see you here. I hope you'll understand that I'm not thrilled with how you left me, and I'm not quite sure I've gotten over it". Hearing this woman call Jasper "love" made me want to tear her to pieces, literally. However I couldn't hint at this at all. Jasper gave me a stern look then slowly turned to face Maria for the first time in a very long time. Part of her looked like she was going to tear him to pieces; the other looked as if she was going to invite him in for an afternoon chat.

JPOV

I felt Alice trying to stop her emotions, this clued me in. They didn't want us here, I could barely feel it with her emotions running so high, but as Alice began to calm I felt just how angry Maria was and did my best to try and influence her emotion. "I know it's been awhile, and I regret the way I left you Maria. Truly, I do. But I just needed to know if there was anything else out there. You have to understand, I had spent the entire time since I was born living here and as any vampire would do, I wanted to try something different. I know this may be poor timing, but I wanted to drop in and see how things are. As you can see, I was followed." Jasper could feel her trying to resist, and doing poorly, to his calming effect. She knew what was happening but couldn't stop him from manipulating her emotions. He knew she was becoming less angry and he had to try now to get Alice out, it would be his only chance. "From my response earlier, I think you know I didn't want to be followed. Let me just have a moment here to send my stalker away." I turned to Alice, her eyes were wide, and she simply twitched just enough to let me know Maria wasn't letting either of us go.

"Jasper, you may be able to force me to be calm, but you aren't going anywhere, and neither is your friend. You can either come inside nicely, or we can make you come in. It's up to you." I felt Alice push him softly towards the house, and I just began to walk. Maria led the way, the three other vampires surrounded Alice and I in a small circle. It was the first time I actually took notice of who was around and where I was. The mansion looked the same it had the last time I had been here, so many years ago. It still looked like the middle of the desert, but I didn't recognize any of the three vampires. Two of them were men; one looked about the same age me. He had dark brown hair that was just a couple inches long and he was just a tad smaller than Emmett. The other male had long blond hair pulled into a pony tail, he looked as if he might be around 15 or 16 years old, but his build was about even with my own. The last of the three was a tall slender female with hair so light it almost looked white. She had several inches on Alice, but I already knew there was no way we could take on the 3 of them, especially since Alice's eyes were almost black as coal.

APOV

It appeared that Jasper had no idea just how angry Maria was. Her plan was constantly changing, one second she wanted to kill him immediately, the next she wanted draw this out as long as possible. She wanted to make him confused, wonder what she was going to do, possibly even lead him on that she was ok - then destroy him. As for me, she debated back and forth with taking care of me now, or just letting me go. She had no use for me and thought there was little if any connection between Jasper and I. I needed to think of a way to keep us nearby long enough until the others could get here. There was no way we could take on the four of them, especially with me being so thirsty.

I followed Jasper into the large mansion and we walked into a large room with a table at the center, and in the room sat 6 blindfolded, gagged, and tied up humans. I saw Jasper twitch, and being so thirsty the smell was overwhelming. Every part of me wanted to just let go of all of the practiced control I had.


End file.
